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Joke of the Day

"After spending over 3 decades in the hard candy business, I've had enough... I've finally realized it's for suckers."

"Oh you're a foodie? You like food? Wow you are very unique. Personally I'm a foodie but I'm also a breathie. Love to breathe."

"What do you call it when your wife brings you rice porridge in prison? Congee-gal visit"

"There's been four dudes wandering around our local cemetery all morning. I think they've lost the plot."

"Friend: [rubs my shoulder] Aw, honey, your life isn't over. It's just beginning! Me: *sobs even harder"

"I applied for a government job today and accidentally sent the wrong resume. This early display of incompetence should work in my favor."

"How did the mathematician reach the end of the Y-axis? On a plane."

"Every war the Chinese have ever lost... was because of chinks in their armor."

"she told me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt... so I fucked her twice and punched her in the mouth."

"At the Karma Cafe, there is no menu you get what you deserve"