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Joke of the Day

"Next time someone asks you how you slept, close your eyes & say ""like this"" & just stay that way for like 8 hours!!!"

"Now that I'm almost 30, there is nothing more sexy to me, than a girl who is fully covered... ...By her health insurance provider."

"What's an artist's favorite fruit? Crayon-berries Sorry"

"My Girlfriend Told Me I Need To Get In Shape..... I told her ""I am in shape! Round is a shape!"""

"How do you kill a circus? Go for the juggler."

"Why are manhole covers round? Because if they were square, you couldn't play twiddlywinks with them."

"Say what you will about Vlad the Impaler He was one hell of a proctologist."

"Michael Jackson had hoes on his dick when he was younger. But when he got older he had dicks on his hoes."

"I don't understand how there can be different shoe sizes. I mean, everyone's feet are a foot long."

"A pair of jumper cables goes into a bar After requesting a drink, the bartender says, ""OK... but just don't start anything."""