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Joke of the Day

"Why did the army send so many women with PMS to the Persian Gulf? They fought like animals and retained water for 4 days."

"When I grow up I want to be a kid."

"What did the evergreen tree say to it's love interest? ""Oh, how I pine for you!"""

"A real titty bar would only serve milk."

"What's the stupidest prank someone tried pulling on you? My sister just told me she was pregnant and I was the father. Does she really think I'm that dumb? I'm 100% sure she's on birth control."

"rolls sleeve rolls sleeve rolls sleeve rolls sleeve rolls sleeve rolls sleeve rolls sleeve rolls sleeve -Octopus preparing for a fight"

"I was pretty excited about this box of elbows before I saw that it was only macaroni."

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except marriage, marriage will kill you."

"""You haven't listened to a word I've said."" Strange way for my girlfriend to start a conversation."

"Which French novelist looked like a scrotum? Balzac"