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Joke of the Day

"Dont be afraid of change, its inevitable. Unless youre homeless. Then you might have to go around asking for it. By the way, I dont have any"

"COP: Your home was robbed ME: Dang I had a self-designed alarm system C: Didn't work M: Back to the drawing board C: They stole that M: Dang"

"My grandpa was 1/5th of the way through his 58th mathematics degree when he died... He was pretty rad."

"I was gonna tell you about anal But fuck it"

"The best part of being married with kids is.....is.....umm.....Yeah."

"How did the scarecrow win a noble prize? He was *out standing* in his field."

"Now THAT's what I call music! And THIS? THIS is what I call a movie. Oh & over there? A TV show! Don't even get me started on YouTube videos"

"Have you noticed that the ""&"" symbol looks like a guy dragging his ass across the floor?"

"No control I have no control. There is no escape. I don't even have a home. I think I should get a knew keyboard."

"What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? ""Dam."""