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Joke of the Day

"a fun pastime in America is driving teenage starlets into utter madness and then enjoying a hearty laugh afterwards"

"My girlfriend said that she'd break up with me if I kerp on making cheesy puns Its okay some things just are'nt ment to brie"

"There is too much freedom in this country, we need more expensive smart."

"How many Firefly fans disc it take to screw in a light bulb? None. The just stand around for years bitching about how it went out. EDIT: does not disc."

"A man carrying his wife. She asks him to put her down. ""All right, you're an idiot."" he replied."

"*catches son swearing through sign language* ""We don't use that language in this house"" *hands him hand sanitizer* ""You know what to do"""

"How do you fix a broken gorilla? With a monkey wrench."

"3 1/2 Inches is the avg size a woman needs to be happy. MasterCard, Visa, American Express, ect..."

"What did the hungry whale do? He bit the tail off a submarine and sucked out all the seamen."

"What did the conservatives say to the abortion rights supporters? You'll never de-fetus."