13003

Joke of the Day

"How many Firefly fans disc it take to screw in a light bulb? None. The just stand around for years bitching about how it went out. EDIT: does not disc."

"I like my women like I like my wine Red and full of alcohol."

"We should stop making racist jokes... ...enough of dark humour."

"Procrastination is like masturbation... It feels good at first, but in the end, you realize that you just fucked yourself."

"I just saw a car with a big ""S"" on it... Look at the ""S"" car go !"

"[interview] ""What's your strongest trait?"" My fingers. ""No, like... Are you pinching me??"" GIVE ME [fighting to maintain pinch] THE JOB"

"A man goes to the library and asks for a book on suicide the librarian says, sorry it looks like the last person never brought it back."

"I was supposed to make a Mayweather joke but it ran away."

"How many unemployed actors does it take to change a light bulb? 100. One to change it and 99 to stand around and say, ""Hey, I could've done that!"""

"When ur at chipotle n u ask for guac and they say ""its extra is that ok?"" if u say its not ok they give it to u for free"