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Joke of the Day

"I think my family is really going to dig the 15 minute powerpoint I've created of the things I am thankful for at Thanksgiving dinner."

"Why don't Germans play games with new players? Because they don't want to wreck Danubes."

"Han and Leia never planned on having a baby. They decided their form of birth control would be the pull-out method. But Han shot first."

"What is Bruce Lee's favorite beverage? Wataaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"

"A man walked into a chiropodists and put his d**k on the table...The chiropodist said ""That's not a foot ""....and the man said ""I know, but it's not far off!"""

"Strangely enough, yelling ""I have a masters degree!"" at this electric wine opener is not helping me figure out how to make it work. Weird."

"Tourette's convention rally What do we want?! A CURE FOR TOURETTE!! When do we want it?! CUNT! SHIT! FUCK!"

"""Hi, how much for a slice of pizza?"" A slice is $2.50, and second slice only $1. ""I'd like 3 second slices please"""

"Donald Trump..."

"Why was Cinderella banned from playing sports? Because she always ran away from the ball <p> My favorite joke since I was little"