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Joke of the Day

"Two cows are standing in a field. One cow turns to the other and says, ""Did you hear about that outbreak of mad cow disease?"" The other one looks at him and says, ""Good thing I'm a helicopter."""

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"After my prostrate exam, the nurse asked me an interesting question. She asked ""Who was the guy in the lab coat?"""
"The autopsy is going to show that the elevator tried to bring Prince down. Go crazy."
"How many French eggs do you need? One egg is un oeuf."
"Fruits are single-handedly keeping the sticker industry afloat."
"I couldn't tell if something on the ground was a ball of animal poop or a rock Nudged it with my foot. It was a rock. That was my risky kick for the day."
"""I'll take movies for $500 Alex"" Tim Burton directed this dark tale starring Johnny Depp & Helena Bonham Carter ""You gotta be kidding me"""
"""Give it to me,""She begged. ""I'm so wet! Give it to me now!"" She could scream all she wanted, I was keeping the umbrella."
"I was in McDonald's today.. I smiled at the bloke and said ""Can I have a small shake please?"" ""Fuck off"" came the reply as he quickly zipped his up jeans and walked away from the urinal."
"What did Jeffery Dahmer say to Lorena Bobbitt? ""You going to eat that?"""