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Joke of the Day

"what is a woman to cant give birth? bruce jenner"

"What do you call a 20th century grammar nazi? Alt-Write"

"Why will no one watch the Olympic games this year only old men will be competing"

"*At funeral* ""Your Mom is so fat"" I said eulogy, not roast. ""oh right, I'm sorry. Your mom WAS so fat..."""

"Europeans use euros shouldn't Africans use afros?"

"Slipped on a tube of toothpaste this morning. I was crestfallen."

"I almost got ran over by joggers. I saved myself by pretending to be a stop light. I got away while they jogged in place."

"I live in upstate New York You know, normally I'd say ""Fuck the Weather"", but these days, I'm pretty sure it's way under 18."

"7yr old: The Tooth Fairy didn't come last night. *wipes tear* Me: Sorry sweetie, she probably got drunk and passed out on the couch."

"If you're having reception problems with your phone... Just shove an antenna up a girl's ass, then yell at her face. Then you will officially have a receptionIST!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"