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Joke of the Day

"I live in upstate New York You know, normally I'd say ""Fuck the Weather"", but these days, I'm pretty sure it's way under 18."

"women are like pokemon, they were originally released for Game Boy in 1996 and now encompass a vast series of games, toys, and cartoo"

"If your girlfriend says ""my pyramid is late..."" Know two things: 1. Your hearing is poor 2. That's not your biggest problem right now"

"Naming your child ""Roger"" is fine, until you have to tell someone about it over a two-way radio."

"Who's up for some conundrum? What's the difference between a dwarf who digs for ore and an ogre who waits too long in a classy restaurant? credit: the late, great Dave Trampier"

"I'm on a new diet of just Viagra and prune juice... I never know if I'm comin' or goin'."

"What did the Pharaohs use to keep their babies quiet? Egyptian dummies."

"Me flirting at a party me: so what's your major her: radiology me: oh cool AM or FM?"

"Life didn't work out, but everything else is not that bad."

"Why do nursing homes give men Viagra before they sleep? So they won't roll out of bed."