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Joke of the Day

"Yes, Firefox. I will abort the script but only to save the life of the web page."

"Why did the black boy fall off his bike? He didn't, he fell off yours."

"My girlfriend asked me to get her off. I told her it was a little cold outside to be needing bug spray."

"My friend got a summer job in a mirror factory He said its a job he can see himself doing."

"What's the big deal about jesus turning water into wine? I turned MY student loans into vodka..."

"Do you know why one side is longer than the other when birds fly in a ""V"" formation? Because there are more birds on that side."

"Maybe I misheard him... But I think God just told me to start building a really big goat."

"""Just this one more episode."" you said, and all the voices in your head laughed and laughed, and slapped their knees."

"When I have to put on one of those thick leather weightlifter belts to take a shit, I know it's time to eat a vegetable."

"I had a three way the other night.... Had a couple no shows, but I still had a good time."