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Joke of the Day

"DIET TIP: Always eat smart. Refuse any food that hasn't scored highly on the SATs and been admitted to an Ivy League school."

"What do you call it when people line up well? High queue-ality."

"Why are cats so afraid of cucumbers? Because they're 96% water"

"A boy asks the teacher, ""what's infinity?"" Teacher: ""think of a number."" Boy: ""ok, I've got one."" Teacher: ""good, that's not it!"""

"Why did the Chili Pepper cross the road? To get to the other side...to get to the other siiiide"

"What is the hungriest mineral that exists? Apatite"

"Who served as the 45th Vice President of the United States? [Warning: Gore]"

"She has a coy pond. All the pretty fish swim away when you try to feed them."

"So I was in the library the other day... My black friend comes over and ask me where the color printers were at. I looked up and said ""it's 2015 man you can use whatever printer you want""."

"I got my Bank Balance back today. It was a picture of a priest. I put it on a spitroast, so at least now I can say I'm turning a prophet."