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Joke of the Day

"My wife said I was average. I said she was mean."

"What's the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer? A prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again."

"Why was the letter ""Z"" lucky it was not Jewish? Because all the other letters were NOT Zs!"

"What's big, green, fuzzy, has four legs, and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A pool table."

"her: what's your sign? im a cancer me [never heard of astrology before]: im a aids"

"You know how the bud light campaign got through PR? Because the guys at bud light aren't used to getting consent and don't take no for an answer."

"Somebody told me I need to give my new Smart Car a name. So I called it 'Octomom' because even though I can technically fit 8 people in there, it doesn't mean it's a good idea."

"A horse who got its face blown off in a war walks into a bar Bartender goes ""why the long...oh"". What a dick."

"McDonalds will always have a place in my heart."

"What's the difference between Brazil and Oscar Pistorious? Oscar Pistorious has a better defence and more shots on Target"