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Joke of the Day

"her: what's your sign? im a cancer me [never heard of astrology before]: im a aids"

"If someone ever challenges you to a fight, pull your pants off and chase them crotch first. I'm currently undefeated with this method."

"What is the volume of Monica Lewinsky's mouth? About one U.S Leader."

"The porn actor's reaction after being denied a raise... I don't get it, I always worked so hard!"

"H: Well, the remote was definitely broken, so I went and bought a new one. Me: H: Oh, and it came with this 75"" television."

"Did you hear about the Chinese brother's that tried to start a German Empire? Turns out two Wongs don't make a Reich."

"Glassware has emotions. Proof: I sometimes reach to the back of the cabinet because I feel bad for the glasses that I never use."

"What do you call a baby from Dover? Doverkiin."

"""So sir, have you decided whether or not you'd like to buy this mattress?"" ""I'll sleep on it"""

"Fred Flintstone only gets haircuts in the UAE... It's the only place he can get an Abu Dhabi Do!"