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Joke of the Day

"So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we're having a baby. For instance my name, address and telephone number!"

Next Joke
 
"What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot."
"Taking a nap now. If you're tempted to wake me, please remember Jurassic Park. Just because we can do it, doesn't always mean we should."
"Was gonna' make a long joke about gastrointestinal problems but, I digest."
"What do Alexander Skarsgard and Ikea have in common? Swedish meatballs"
"Q: What do you call it when a cat bites? - A: Catnip!"
"My wife believes in compromise If we agree on something we do it my way, and if we disagree we do it her way."
"A man asked his wife what she wanted for Valentine's Day: Wife: ""A divorce."" Husband: ""I really wasn't planning on spending that much."""
"A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says ""hey! We have a drink named after you!"" And the grasshopper says ""You have a drink named Steve?!"""
"I took a ""Which Friends character are you?"" quiz and I got The Central Perk couch."