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Joke of the Day

"I think the inventor of the internet likely didn't intend for it to be used to post videos of simians reacting to humans doing magic tricks."

"He took me from a bar. He took me in his car....... He took me from a bar. He took me in his car. He took my top off. He puts his lips on mine, but don't worry: I'm a bottle of wine!"

"Yo mama nose so big she makes Pinochio look like a cat!"

"People who say love is dead have obviously never seen me eat a burrito."

"A little boy comes running to his mother.. ""I went into the bathroom and the light came on without me touching anything!"" ""Oh you idiot, you've pissed in the fucking fridge again."""

"A load of geese caused a massive pile up on my way to work, What a bunch of flocking idiots."

"Someone had the audacity to delete every version of Microsoft Office from my computer. I have no Words."

"What do a good joke and a child with cancer have in common? They never get old."

"Weird is a side effect of awesome."

"What kind of sword is good for chopping up young girls? A cutlass."