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Joke of the Day

"He took me from a bar. He took me in his car....... He took me from a bar. He took me in his car. He took my top off. He puts his lips on mine, but don't worry: I'm a bottle of wine!"

"What's the difference between a circus and a strip club? One has cunning stunts the other has stunning..."

"That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is ""act natural, you're innocent""."

"A horse walks into a bar... A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says ""Why the long face?"" The horse says ""I have AIDS."""

"If Gandhi went on a 100 day journey with no shoes or toiletries... ... he would be a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis"

"A pair of mittens says to a hat, ""I'll stay here, you go on a head"""

"Q: How many Accountants does it take to change a light bulb? A: What sort of answer did you have in mind ? A: None-just assume it's changed."

"Where will you find the best jokes? Not on /r/jokes"

"What race is the author of Charlotte's Web? E B White"

"The official dance for my new mixtape has 3 steps... Stop, drop, and roll!"