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Joke of the Day
"Friends are like ants if you burn them, they die."
Next Joke
"Use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence My brothers girlfriends boobs are so big when she wears a ten button shirt she can only fascinate."
"I ate 23k pounds of cream cheese yesterday. BUT, there were nuts in it and I yelled FITFAM the whole time so technically it was health food"
"Putting on a clean pair of underwear everyday is a great way to have seven pair on by the end of the week."
"what do you call a chinese millionaire? Cha Ching"
"What did the pirate say to the wench before sex? Prepare to be boarded."
"what is the leading cause of Pedophilia? Sexy kids"
"My girlfriend asked if I was Happy to be fair, she always gets us dwarves confused"
"- How much for the mobile tampon? - Ma'am? - It's a bit big. - Ma'am, it's a lamb. - Does it make that sound because it has detected blood?"
"Pretty certain the day I die my body will be found tangled in Saran Wrap with an untouched sandwich on the counter."