43533

Joke of the Day

"I read an article about a stolen dog being reunited with its owner and it made me feel good to think maybe someone will steal my dog one day"

"You know what really brings out the child in me? Abortion."

"""Do not purchase if seal is broke"" *looks over at homeless seal* *places canned pickles back on the shelf*"

"What do you get when you cross Tom Cruise with nails? A cruiseifixion."

"I finally figured out the secret to click bait. It is to repost the title every week."

"How do Muslims like their food served? Allah Carte"

"What do you call it when you refuse to do core workouts? Abstinence."

"Why does Helen Keller wear tight jeans? So people can read her lips."

"Talking bout planets with my 8 yr old. He asked if you just plow thru Uranus because it's all gas. I cannot respond maturely."

"I like my women like I like my cheese Aged."