43514
Joke of the Day
"[hits you in the face with newspaper] ""Sorry, I thought your eyebrows were caterpillars."""
Next Joke
"My fiance asked me what I thought about having kids. I told her that I love children, I just can't bear them!"
"How many Avengers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. Ant-Man and Wasp are the only ones small enough to fit inside a lightbulb."
"I bet Rihanna will be on the cover of Chris Brown's greatest HITS CD."
"(Sexism warning) Yesterday a tree fell on a woman and killed her. What was a tree doing in the kitchen?"
"Cookie. I would give you a cookie, but I took a byte out of it."
"What do you call Japanese people that fly planes? Pirates."
"""YOU'RE FAT."" - my belt"
"He called me passive aggressive. I just smiled and left. Cut his brake lines on the way out for good measure, though."
"Hubs: * Hands me a broom* Make yourself useful Me: Flies away"