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Joke of the Day

"Why did the fly fly? Because the spider spied 'er!"

"Did you here about that concert where the frontman flung his crap into the crowd? The shit reeeeeeally hit the fan"

"I told my boyfriend that a penis is like a nipple They are shaped sort of like a nipple, they sometimes squirt white stuff, and it's an erogenous zone. He said ""yea, and mine feeds babies."""

"I was gonna go on a double date the other day... But in the end I couldn't find three other people to go with me."

"My brother said he's incontinent. Yeah, he said he's wet his pants in nearly every nation in the world."

"I was at a restaurant and my waitress had a black eye so I ordered reallllyy slow, because she obviously doesn't listen."

"These racing car drivers are making a lot of pit stops. You'd think they would have went before the race."

"Why did Robert Oppenheimer's wife go to the beach naked? There was no bikini atoll"

"If your laugh in real life sounds like ""Bahahaha"", guaranteed I won't be funny around you."

"Most Well-known Speeches: 1. Gettysburg Address - Abe Lincoln 2. I Have a Dream - Martin Luther King 3. You Need to Floss - Every Dentist"