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Joke of the Day

"Most Well-known Speeches: 1. Gettysburg Address - Abe Lincoln 2. I Have a Dream - Martin Luther King 3. You Need to Floss - Every Dentist"

"I stopped a girl from getting raped last week It wasn't very hard. I just stopped chasing her."

"I would never write a joke in multiple choice form... Because A) person who thinks that it would B) funny should go C) a psychiatrist."

"I'm at my most immature when girls misspell ""cologne"" and start talking about how bad a man's colon smells"

"The pun-ishment of notes When notes get in treble, bass-ically they get put behind bars. The alto-nate punishment is to push them off a clef and hope they land flat on sharp objects."

"What's the difference between math and meth? One of them ruins your life. The other's just meth."

"America's favorite psychic Ms Cleo passed away No one saw this coming."

"The next iPhone will be without a... Screen. You can buy a wireless screen. We are removing it because it's bulky and old."

"[watching TV] GF: Tickle my back please ME: Is that nice? GF: Little bit higher ME: [very slightly squeaky voice] Is that nice?"

"I saved my girlfriends phone number as LOW BATTERY'. Whenever she calls and I'm not around, the wife takes the phone and plugs it to the charger unknowingly."