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Joke of the Day

"I was gonna go on a double date the other day... But in the end I couldn't find three other people to go with me."

"Climate skeptics and 9/11-truthers unite! Alternative fuel can't melt steel beams!"

"I heard Tim Howard's daughters are all still virgins. Cause ain't no balls getting past him."

"What did the fish say when it swam into the wall? Ah dam!"

"Let my 4 year old score his first goal on me in hockey & he said, ""NA NA, you couldn't stop me!"" so he also received his first cross-check."

"The more I think about it the more I fucking HATE Rutherford B. Hayes!"

"a seal walks into a club eh"

"What do you call a french gayman? A faguette."

"I brush my teeth a lot longer when I'm around another person."

"Is it okay to marry your second cousin? [xpost from /r/dadjokes] Sure, as long as you're legally divorced from the first one."