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Joke of the Day

"Everyone's all worried about World War III. Worry about the important shit. Batman's fighting Superman in 2016."

"What do you call a pregnant nun who cycles to church everyday? No seriously, a friend asked me this and I didn't know."

"Facing charges for attacking a man on New Years Eve.. Well, excuse me for getting nervous while an Arab was counting down from ten."

"""Hi, my name is Gary and I'm a shopaholic, my favorite place to shop is the alcohol store."""

"ME: How much for this aggressive bottle of water? FIREFIGHTER: Sir that's a hydrant"

"What happened when the cow tried to milk itself? It was an udder catastrophe."

"A joke told by the mods of this sub. ""Long"""

"I love dicks. I went there the other day, and they have great products and really friendly staff!"

"What do you call the first Irish woman ever created? A McRib"

"Things that don't kill bees: 1. Furniture polish 2. Febreeze 3. Butter 4. Screaming"