21976

Joke of the Day

"Q: What do you call a cat who's joined the Red Cross? - A: A first-aid kit!"

"Is it okay to marry your second cousin? [xpost from /r/dadjokes] Sure, as long as you're legally divorced from the first one."

"I took up guitar lessons recently. It's pretty simple, really. Unless the song requires the blue button."

"I could be wrong, but an escape goat strikes me as an awfully inefficient getaway plan."

"FIFA Ethics Committee"

"Milliband, Clegg and Farage have quit. Proof that the Conservatives are forcing people out of work."

"When I figured out that people walk on hardwood and carpet, I was floored."

"I wish i had the immune system of an African baby I've heard they only get sick once in their whole lives."

"Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? He wanted to win the no bell prize!"

"My girlfriend told me she was pregnant Me: You gotta be joking! Her: No, I'm serious! Me: Hi, Serious! I'm dad."