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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend told me I was fucking stupid I told her she was just clever in her own way."

"What does a man keep in his pants that often pokes the hole it's poked before? His keys, you filthy-minded bastard."

"You guys ever smear fake blood on your mouth, put on a ripped shirt, go in somewhere and pretend you got mugged? PEOPLE ARE SO NICE!"

"Thank you for teaching me the meaning of the word ""much."" It means a lot."

"Q: Why doesn't the dinosaur cross the road anymore? A: Because their eggs stink. (They're extinct)"

"I like my men like I like my coffee... Tall, dark, and fantastic in the morning"

"A Man has a strange disorder. Whenever he gets worked up, he sweats coffee. He really can pore the coffee."

"I don't mind people sneezing in public. It's that ""Pre-sneeze face"" they make that scares the hell out of me."

"The word 'twice' is so good they named it 'Twice'."

"Did you guys see the new line of Tony Romo's cologne? Every time you wear it, you fuck up and the other guy scores."