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Joke of the Day

"I don't mind people sneezing in public. It's that ""Pre-sneeze face"" they make that scares the hell out of me."

"Me: oil change plz Toyota: it'll be $39 Me: cool heres my $2 off coupon 4 hrs later T: ur steering wheel fell off total is $2900 sign here"

"Why do people hate playing uno with Mexicans? They keep stealing green cards."

"Why was Mary Jane not a virgin? Her mother leaves."

"God: ok u can make one human that's it Satan: how do u feel about toupees & the name Donald"

"My approach to life drives nihilist philosophers crazy... ...but it's beating a dead horse."

"A mother bear defending her cubs but it's me defending the fresh pan of bacon from other hotel guests at the breakfast buffet."

"The moral of ""The Three Little Pigs"" is ""make your house with bricks."" Why are we giving four year olds architectural advice?"

"linuxmint 13 or 15 question why does 13 have lts and not newer versions?"

"What did the fancy cat say when he wanted to leave? Le meow"