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Joke of the Day

"I bought my friend an elephant for his living room. Friend: thank you. Me: Don't mention it. *Edit: formatting.*"

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"Karate Kid (1984) A Japanese man teaches a desperate young boy about bullying by forcing him to fix his house."
"2. So I said to the shoe salesman... - I'm looking for a pair of basketball shoes... Shoe salesman - ajkdkdkaldnrmsldkd - what? Shoe salesman - sorry, I was struggling to converse."
"I don't always tell dad jokes But when I do he laughs"
"Before you unleash her inner goddess, try to find out if she's channeling Aphrodite or Medusa."
"""It's clear"" said the teacher ""That you haven't studied your geography. What's your excuse?"" ""Well my dad says the world is changing every day . So I decided to wait until it settles down!"""
"Two muffins are in an oven First muffin turns and says ""damn it's hot in here"" The second muffin says "" holy sh!t, A TALKING MUFFIN!"""
"Is Yoda's last name Lay-he-hoo?"
"""Hey, where's the beach?"" ""Down by the ocean!"" -Dr. Demento, presumably."
"The Greek restaurant in my town is so authentic that it went bankrupt"