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Joke of the Day

"This gym has a very strict rule no denim jeans or jorts. But if you're 300 lbs of muscle & attitude, apparently it's merely a suggestion."

"As my friend confessed, ""My teenage daughter never even talks to me,"" I struggled to conceal my jealousy."

"They call me the human Hoyer lift... because I'm good at picking up fat chicks."

"Did you know that Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard? Neither did she."

"Why is an angry drunk not called mean-spirited?"

"Why did the hipster burn his tung? Because he drank his coffee before it was cool..."

"What does a suicidal teenager do on the weekends? Hang at home."

"Don't like tipping bathroom attendants for merely handing me a towel. Maybe if he performed a service like wiping my ass I'd consider it."

"the vibrator was invented when Dr Edward Vibrator got extremely chilly whilst shagging Mrs Vibrator and his shivering sent her to cum town"

"What US state was founded by black prostitutes? Idaho! get it I - Da - HO."