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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a GOOD and a BAD girl? A GOOD girl goes to a party, goes home then goes to bed. A BAD girl goes to a party, goes to bed then goes home."

"What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. She's already been told twice."

"My wife complained the other day, ""Why did God give women periods with cramp pains and men nothing?"" I laughed and said, ""Don't be silly honey, he gave us women."""

"[funeral] Her: why is my dead grandfather wearing a diamond ring? *sliding it off his finger* Me: *gets down on one knee* because babe..."

"Plays tetris. Gets a circle."

"Can you spell a pretty girl with two letters? QT (cutey)."

"Knock knock! ""Who's there?"" ""L.A."" ""L.A. who?"" ""L.A. who Akbar!"""

"A Priest And A Rabbi Are Sitting On A Park Bench Watching Kids Play... Priest - ""Hey rabbi, want to help me screw these kids?"" Rabbi-""Screw them out of what?"""

"My girlfriend told me that she has bronchitis. I wish I had a dinosaur."

"A puzzling amount of nonsense... If you're sailing through the desert and your house gets a flat how many flapjack a would it take to put that motherfucker up on stilts?"