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Joke of the Day

"Vikings kicker Blair Walsh apparently attempted suicide last night. He ended up being just fine, he was unable to kick the chair out from under him."

"A nurse finds a rectal thermometer in her pocket. She says ""Oh great, some guy has my pen"""

"There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman before marriage and after marriage."

"Why did the boy take a pencil and paper to bed? He was told to draw the curtains before going to sleep."

"some say yer mom reminds em' of a tornado sounds like hell when she comes, took my house when she left"

"What's the difference between you and a dead prostitute? Your job still sucks...."

"White house What do you call someone in the White House who is honest, ethical, intellectual, law abiding, and truthful? A tourist."

"(Best New Pick Up Line) How much does a polar bear weigh? Like a thousand pounds. Read a fuckin' book."

"What is the most heinous, disgusting, perverse, NSFW joke that you know?"

"Don't you hate it when someone starts a sentence but they..."