129858

Joke of the Day

"some say yer mom reminds em' of a tornado sounds like hell when she comes, took my house when she left"

"What do Viagra and Disney World have in common? A one-hour wait for a two-minute ride"

"My life would be a lot easier if when shopping online there was a ""Sort by least ugly"" option."

"What did the brain dead guy have for breakfast? Comatoast!"

"The next person to tell me I should quit smoking for New Years is gonna be responsible for me breaking this year's ""no murder"" resolution."

"[on phone] mom I need u to pick me up from the restaurant right now *whispers* no the date is going terrible, she pronounced it 'pokey-man'"

"*wakes up at the crack of Dawn* *instantly regrets drunk dialing Dawn last night*"

"I asked my Indian father for a PS3 He said ""No beta, it's pronounced PH.D."""

"What's the similarity between Bruce Jenner and a Pharaoh? At some point they turned into Mummys"

"Women, should start bragging about their size like men do. For example, I happen to be hung like a Tic-Tac."