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Joke of the Day

"Why Did The Alcoholic Comedian Quit Performing? He couldn't handle the boos."

"What's the best way to break up with your girlfriend? On the front page of reddit."

"Shouldn't you pet him first? Two guys are in a park and see a dog licking it's nuts. First Guy: ""Damn I wish I could do that"" Second Guy: ""Shouldn't you pet him first?"""

"A bunch of religious accounts are following me so I can only assume I'm the subject of a monthly sermon series."

"The melons Why did the melons get married in a church? Because they cant-elope."

"HELLO? HELP! I'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED & DROPPED IN A NON-ENGLISH-SPEAKING COUNTRY & I DON'T KNOW- wait. Nm. Fell asleep at Szechuan Palace again."

"Why is the African Justice System so flawed? Because there's too many *hung* juries."

"Parachute for sale Used once, never opened, small stain"

"How did the inventor of the car advertise his new ""horse-less carriage""? He said it goes without a hitch!"

"What did the pirate day on his 80th birthday? Aye Matey!"