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Joke of the Day

"A bunch of religious accounts are following me so I can only assume I'm the subject of a monthly sermon series."

"can't wait till the robots turn on us as currently my only regret is that I am statistically most likely to be killed by a human"

"Mr. Buffalo: I caught my son making out with a girl Me: SWEET! Mr. Buffalo: And a boy Me: So, I guess you could say he's your... Bi-son"

"A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his pants the bartender asks ""doesn't that thing annoy you?"" The pirate says ""arr, it's driving me nuts"""

"Why is masturbating in France like cooking an egg? Because in both cases you're cracking one oeuf"

"I am not racist because racism is a crime and crime is for black people"

"Russia is invading Ukraine? US: ""NATO my watch!"""

"Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was too chicken!"

"I was trying to trick someone into getting the new Windows But they saw right through me"

"Do you know how to tell the difference between a rectal thermometer and an oral thermometer? They taste different."