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Joke of the Day

"Have you guys seen that great television show, ""Candy Crush Saga With The Sound From Another Television Show Playing In The Background?"""

"I bought a book about addiction I've read it 50 times and it still hasn't helped."

"Why can't the bicycle stand on its own? Because it's two tired"

"Why is England the wettest country? Monarchies have reigned there for centuries."

"Lady at my gym is pedaling a stationary bike while eating chips right out of the bag. I'm hiring her as my personal trainer."

"I slashed my Postal Delivery Driver's tires today I wanted to be sure *all* of my last minute packages had flat rate shipping."

"If they could, cats would correct your grammar."

"My first mistake was thinking she couldn't hit a moving target."

"How do you handle a redheads anger? Gingerly."

"What did the sheep say when he saw his girlfriend? Baaaaaeeeee!"