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Joke of the Day

"How is your diet going? ""Horrible. I had eggs for breakfast."" ""Scrambled?"" ""Cadbury."""

"FRED: Your monster was making a terrible noise last night. BERT: Yes - ever since he ate Madonna he thinks he can sing."

"Clinton is MY president! His second term is about to end but I truly loved his presidency -Sent from internet explorer"

"What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? I can't jelly a dick in your ass"

"Why do they call a bird that lives by the sea, a seagul? Because if it lived by the bay, it would be called a Bagel."

"If The Bachelor was realistic they'd ask each other where they want to go out to eat and then never make a decision."

"There's a new holiday in Russia called ""National Sobriety Day"" People are at a loss as to how to celebrate it."

"Why is my algebra textbook so sad? It has a lot of problems."

"the average Russian day When you ask a Russian how his day is going. ""It is an average day today: not as good as yesterday, but better than tomorrow."""

"My wife's sexual fantasy is to be with another man. Mine is to have two girls at the same time. I think she misunderstood because now we have twin daughters from the mailman."