42970

Joke of the Day

"On his deathbed, a man is asked if he wants anything said at his funeral. ""Oh look, he's moving."""

"There are plenty of fish in the sea... ...but until I catch one, I'm just stuck here holding my rod."

"Q: Why do Chinese noodles make the best lovers?? A: Because they are 'Lo Mein-tenance' and they don't won a ton of attention. ...but then again, Italian noodles have great Penne-tration..."

"Jam and jelly NSFW Whats the difference between jam and jelly? You can't jelly your dick into someone's ass!"

"Inside me is a skinny woman screaming to get out. I can usually shut her up with a cookie."

"I keep the streets safe at night by staying home."

"What the heck does the ""z"" in ""LOLZ"" mean.... ""Laugh Out Loud.... Zebras?"

"She : I Love Kids He : I Love The Process"

"Anxiety: making it impossible to tell the difference between a minor problem and a catastrophe since the development of the frontal lobe!"

"An Asian man goes to the eye doctor and the doctor says ""Sir, I'm sorry to say but you have a Cataract""... The Asian man turns to the doctor and says ""No, I have uh Rincoln Continentar"""