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Joke of the Day

"No thanks, dentist's office that used to be a house"

"Why isn't there a Superpig? It's too hard for a pig to change clothes in a telephone booth."

"Thor isn't able to stay in hiding long He's not a very loki guy (yeah, still a bit iffy on the wording)"

"Having a crush is weird bc one minute you're a normal person and then out of nowhere you're like damn I wanna bake that boy a pie"

"It's hard to tell a joke to Thieves... They always take things, literally."

"You remember the singer Gotye? Do you know what he's doing these days? Or would you say he's just somebody that you used to know?"

"I like my women like I like my whiskey... Light brown, from the south, and kept in a lightless cabinet only to be taken out on special occasions."

"Never hold in a fart... they go to your head, and that's where shitty ideas come from."

"What does a stripper do with her asshole before she goes to work? She drops him off at band practice."

"[at a party] *taps wife's shoulder* I've looked everywhere...where are all the swings? (wife pulls away from kissing Bob) ""What?"""