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Joke of the Day

"Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes... That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away and you'll have his shoes."

"Do they have a pregnancy test for immaculate conceptions?"

"I'm smiling. This should scare you."

"I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?"

"Virginity is not dignity, but lack of opportunity."

"I scaled Everest! And I give nicknames to fish."

"I didn't know how to put this gently so I drew you a picture. That's you. Now, see the guy choking you? That's me."

"Gets in shower Washes hair Thinks about a tweet Forgets if washed hair Washes hair Gets out of shower Forgets tweet"

"My moral compass must run on solar power, because it never seems to work after dark."

"R.I.P boiled water... You will be mist"