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Joke of the Day

"There was a kidnapping at my school He woke up."

"[Calls boss] I'm gonna be late... ""How late?"" *Cut to me trapped inside a tiny house made from Lego* I've no idea to be honest with you..."

"There are 10 types of people. Those who know binary, those who don't, and those who did not expect this to a base 3 joke."

"How do fish party Seaweed"

"Why should you feel bad for the gay homeless population? Because they don't have any closets to come out of"

"For someone so concerned with marriage licenses, God sure was focused on dinosaurs for 180 million years."

"The subject line starts ""Fwd: Re: Fwd: RE: RE: Re: "", so there's no way this isn't a complete waste of time."

"My girlfriend just text me that she really hates periods... I told her without them, life would just be one long run-on-sentence"

"I just saw a video of a snake that learned to open doors. I probably don't need to sleep anymore anyway."

"What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down and use Lubricant."