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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend just text me that she really hates periods... I told her without them, life would just be one long run-on-sentence"

"""Kids are picking on me, Mom"" I'll teach you how to fight, son. ""Yes!"" [Mom spreads rumors about son and ignores him for 3 days]"

"What do you call unpredictable nudity? Erratica."

"If eHarmony were honest, it would pair some people with a room full of cats."

"Turtle to turtle: ""Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"""

"What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter"

"I know where to get a lot of Potassium. It's true !! Source: Banana"

"How to fall downstairs...... Step 1 Step 6 Step 9,10,11,12"

"Go back in time and kill Hitler as a baby. He'd be so freaked out that a baby is trying to murder him, you'll have the element of surprise."

"Why doesn't Santa hitch his sleigh to a pig? Pigs don't have red noses."