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Joke of the Day

"A Reddit mod deleting their account during controversy and creating a new one is like... the Reddit CEO"

"Today I was asked if the guy that put up the blinds... was a blind installer. I said, 'Nope, he could see.'"

"Siri is the only girl that answers my questions without having to ask why.."

"How do you know Santa Claus is married? He only comes once a year."

"What was the last thing that went through Osama Bin Ladens head before he died? I hope they're all female..."

"What did Luke get for pulling Darth Vader's face mask off? A 15 yard penalty."

"What's another name for semen? (w)Hole Milk!! :D"

"Me: Shhh, your brother is still sleeping. 4yo: *runs upstairs CRASH JUMP ""Wake up!"" SLAM *runs back downstairs ""No, he's not."""

"A prisoner convicted of beastiality has escaped. Recent reports confirm he's on the lamb."

"*looks at watch* come on, I gotta get back to browsing the same four websites over and over"