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Joke of the Day

"Waiter, ""Welcome to red lobster, I'm your seafood expert."" me- ""did you know octopuses have a beak?"" W-""no"" Me- ""who's the expert now?"""

"[Dog Restaurant] ""Is the Book Report any good?"" Yes, Sir. ""How's it prepared?"" A 9yo stayed up till 3am to finish it. ""Ooh, I'll have that."""

"I Went To Purchase Some Camoflauge Clothes The Other Day But I just couldn't see myself in them."

"Everybody laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian Well, nobody's laughing now"

"Most people don't realize that Iron Man.. Is a Fe-male."

"I want a SPIDERMAN GO app where I have to get pictures of spiderman for a furious j jonah jameson"

"OC Dr. Who joke what do Dr. Who's enemies do when they get dirty? Dalek themselves clean"

"I got robbed tonight at Shell. I called the cops & they asked if I knew who did it I said ""Yeah, pump 6."""

"2 ""black"" questions that aren't racist. What's black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawking in a house fire. What's black and screaming? Stevie Wonder answering the iron."

"Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 70% water. I can walk on babies. I'm... In prison."