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Joke of the Day

"I got robbed tonight at Shell. I called the cops & they asked if I knew who did it I said ""Yeah, pump 6."""

"I've been on Reddit for too long I've literally been browsing Reddit since last year..."

"I really hope the rise of the machines doesn't involve my laptop camera taping me look at stuff on the internet."

"I just saw 125 spf sunblock. Maybe going outside isn't for everyone."

"2 Redditors walk into a bar... Which is funny because you'd think the 2nd guy would have seen the 1st one do it!"

"How many Jews does it take to change Hitler's mind? None, there has to be no Jews."

"The Royal baby weighed in at almost 9 pounds Which is just under $15 US"

"What did the cannibal say when he was full? I couldn't eat another mortal."

"Opening a Twitter account is like opening a bag of money after you rob a bank. You're happy until shit explodes in your face."

"I'd rather someone ask if they can have one of my internal organs than ask if they can borrow my cell phone."