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Joke of the Day
"I DIDN'T SAFELY EJECT MY FLASH DRIVE AND NOW MY DOG IS DEAD"
Next Joke
"Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris."
"ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ A gift for all redditors. It's called The Alphabet. You can use as much of it as you want, as many times as you want so that you will write in complete fucking sentenc"
"This Christmas... This Christmas, Donald Trump's hair becomes sentient and nukes canada. Only one Democratic Socialist can prevent a total World War. Bernie Sanders stars... in HELL TOUPEE"
"I don't drink and drive..... I only drink at stop signs and red lights."
"Wow, according to the New York Times, just kidding, I have no idea what's going on."
"Corny Joke I Heard On The Radio What did the one fish in the tank say to the other? ""Do you know how to drive this thing?"""
"Did you hear about the blonde who got detention for flirting with boys in class? She told the teacher she wanted to go down in history..."
"What's the difference between an epileptic oyster chef and a prostitute with diarrhea? One shucks between fits."
"Linda, this is embarrassing, but when I sent that email that you were poetry in motion I meant to type pottery. You look like a jug."