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Joke of the Day
"Why are bodybuilders great pallbearers? They're fantastic dead lifters"
Next Joke
"My programmer friend keeps telling me I'm using too many brackets. I keep telling him that two wont hold all those books he never reads."
"Let us all take a moment of silence to remember the many socks lost in the past and the fucking dryers that stole them."
"If your are ever about to get jumped by a gang of clowns Go for the juggler"
"Me: I've had this for 3 weeks & I'm still single! HomeDepot Clerk: ma'am, a stud finder is for the beams in your wall Me: that was unclear"
"You don't owe anyone an explanation for who you are."
"I thought the author of Harry Potter was a guy. J.K."
"Wanna hear a joke about potassium? K"
"""Dammit"" or ""Damnit"" are both acceptable, unless you are over the age of sixty, in which case ""Dagnabit"" is required."
"What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust"