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Joke of the Day

"Why should you be quiet in a pharmacy? In case you wake the sleeping pills!"

"Teacher: This is the third time I've had to tell you off this week what have you got to say about that? Pupil: Thank heavens it's Friday !"

"Why do mice have such small balls? Because very few of them know how to dance."

"What do you get when cross-eyed and looking at a solar eclipse? A solar ellipses..."

"I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure."

"Always ask ""are you voting for Sanders?"" before sex. If they say ""yes"" you know they are too young."

"A guy walks into a bank with a gun I don't know what happens next I was outside."

"The teacher asked Johnny, ""Why is your cat at school today Johnny?"" Johnny replied crying, ""Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that pussy once Johnny leaves for school today!'"""

"What do you call someone who was born in a camper? A son of a hitch!"

"She said she wanted to bump uglies. So, naturally, I got all showered & freshened up and then I rammed my Ford Pinto into her Honda Element."