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Joke of the Day

"After ten minutes trying to explain twitter to a friend I gave up and told her it was a pyramid scheme."

"Whatever, low battery indicator. You're not the boss of"

"Feminism Nothing else. That's the joke."

"Every couple weeks I pour a little cocoa powder and hot milk down the sink as a pick me up for any struggling mole people."

"Why do artists die early in life? Too many strokes."

"Beauty is in the Eye Of The Tiger."

"ME: Too much turkey makes me so tired HER: Actually, it makes you sleepy, not tired ME: I'm getting real sleepy of your shit, Debra"

"*Australian accent* Notice the wife in her natural habitat shaming the male husband species into doing what she wants!"

"Did you hear about the college for dolphins? It was for educational porpoises only."

"Knock, Knock! Knock, knock! Who's there? Snow. Snow who? Snowbody!"