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Joke of the Day

"Why do artists die early in life? Too many strokes."

"A guy is at the doctors... The doctor tells him ""we're gonna need a stool sample, urine sample and a semen sample."" The guy says ""Doc, I'm kinda in a hurry, can't you just take my underwear?"""

"You can never trust someone from Chernobyl. Most of them are two-faced."

"Just walked in on Mark Zuckerberg writing down the contents of my medicine cabinet."

"What rock group has four men that don't sing? Mount Rushmore."

"[office] DAVE: We're having a baby SUE: Congratulations! ME: [suspicious that Dave is a seahorse] Looking forward to the birth, Dave?"

"Why is it called PMS'ing? Mad cow disease was already taken."

"Q: What did the tie say to the neck? A: I think I'll just hang around."

"I hate ""two-faced"" people. It's so hard to decide which face to slap first."

"Whats the difference between an Irish wedding, and an Irish funeral? There's one less drunk."