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Joke of the Day

"*Australian accent* Notice the wife in her natural habitat shaming the male husband species into doing what she wants!"

"If your phone gets wet, put it in a bag of rice because maybe an Asian will come by and fix it."

"25- 35 year olds"

"Isn't it annoying when you're having dinner with your in-laws and they don't exist because no one loves you enough to marry you?"

"Consider one of the most perplexing questions of our time: Where do' solutions go when a candidate gets elected?"

"How did the Sex Ed teacher explain buttsex to her students? She used an analogy"

"Like a princess A man takes his girlfriend out on a date, and as they are leaving he says ""I'm going to treat you like a princess"". So they jump in his Mercedes and he drives into a wall."

"Turns out the Joker has a criminally-insane dog. He's locked up in Barkham Asylum."

"I ain't votin' for Trump He wants to build a wall and walls are what killed Dale Earnhardt"

"My friend lost his left hand... He's all right now."